go slow

learning snail ways

Photo by amirali mirhashemian on Unsplash

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This week I had the pleasure of meeting up with Sarah Davies, the author of a blog that I follow here on Substack: Snailing It. The blog chronicles Sarah's project to slow down in life: to downsize life's activities and to focus her time and attention on the things that create the most meaning for her.

Oh that's nice, you might think, easy for some! Sit in the garden and daydream, break out the knitting, etc etc. In reality it's not so simple. Going slow in this crazy-fast world requires planning, strategy, discipline and effort – it is its own kind of work. Deeply rewarding, and very much worth it – but work all the same.

For example, Sarah described the emotional effort required when learning to say no. No to invitations, no to requests for one's time or one's energy. Women in particular are raised to accommodate others, to be available and to support our friends and family whenever needed. So drawing a line around our availability impacts on those relationships and demands a shifting of priorities which may feel quite foreign. Saying no to someone else in order to say yes to oneself: is that not... selfish? (Hint: no, it's not.) In fact, Sarah revealed that actually most people are just fine with being told no. They take it on board, and move on.

Another strategy one must consider is the cull: mapping out all of the demands on one's time, and identifying the things that can be eliminated. Some of these things, she pointed out, were things that she enjoys doing. But then there are other things she enjoys doing even moreso. The decision to focus on the most meaningful and enjoyable projects and activities meant letting go of some others which were less meaningful and enjoyable.

We talked books – and Sarah recommended The Success Myth by Emma Gannon. I've started reading it, and already have been given food for thought. She points out at the beginning that 'there is no success formula' which in itself is reassuring. How often do we chart our choices and their outcomes against some imaginary 'best practice' ideal? Have I made any mistakes? Did I take a wrong footing? Why didn't this work the way I wanted it to or thought that it would?

I've only just started the book, but already I can see that Emma Gannon recognises complexity, and understands the multitude of factors that lead to a multitude of outcomes. She points out that “when we perpetuate stereotypes about success... we are missing so much nuance – and nuance is a very crucial and forgotten element of this conversation.”

So how do we bring nuance back into the conversation? How do we allow for different perspectives to be included in discourse, for multifaceted ideas to be explored, and for paradox to be embraced? Well, circling back to where we began: we do these things by going slow, and by savouring each step as we progress in a chosen direction.

I recently wrote this to a friend: “It's all ok, I'm not burnt out yet. Just getting SOS signals from my Higher Self haha” My friend very kindly scolded me to take a break, and I will (I am heading on a trip to see another friend in Poland this week, a sorely needed holiday.) I feel really grateful to have this opportunity. My plan is to step back from it all and take stock. To envisage a less crowded, more spacious life. To start shaping things accordingly. To go slow and to snail it.

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